美利坚段子手奥巴马最演讲
2015/06/18 00:00:00
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在最近举行的2015年度白宫记者协会晚宴上，美国总统奥巴马发表了吐槽演讲。因为言辞幽默犀利，被广大民众冠以“美国段子手”的荣誉称号。（视频见后）
白宫记者会晚宴是美国的一个传统，作为首都华盛顿每年度最重要的社交盛事之一，晚宴的“卖点”之一就是历届美国总统都会在这一场合竭尽所能地“抖包袱”调侃政事。除了奥巴马之外，前总统小布什和克林顿等人都曾在该晚宴上“大放光彩”。
演讲内容涉及近来关于美国内外的时政和针对奥巴马的各方评论，“段子手总统妙”语连珠，火力全开，导致参加晚宴的各路人马（包括美国2016年总统大选的候选人、奥巴马的冤家共和党、有线新闻网、甚至第一夫人米歇尔·奥巴马）的膝盖纷纷中箭，就连以色列总统内塔尼亚胡虽身在千里之外也未能幸免。但尽管被奥巴马当众调侃，当晚参加晚宴的政治家们依然笑得前仰后合。
<hr>下面摘录了一些演讲中的精华：
--(On rumors that he’s a Muslim) “Being President is never easy. I still have to fix the broken immigration system, issue veto threats, negotiate with Iran, all while finding time to pray five times a day。”
--“当总统从来都不是轻松事，我仍要修补破旧的移民[微博]体系，威胁使用谈判权，跟伊朗谈判，每天还得挤出时间做5次祈祷。”(传言奥巴马是穆斯林)
--(On House Speaker John Boehner) “It’s no wonder people keep pointing out how the presidency has aged me. I look so old John Boehner has already invited (Israel Prime Minister Benjamin) Netanyahu to speak at my funeral。”
—“难怪人们说我当总统后越来越老，我看起来太老了，约翰·博纳已经邀请内塔尼亚胡在我的葬礼上发言了。”(吐槽众院议长约翰·博纳)
--(On former Vice President Dick Cheney) “Dick Cheney says he thinks I’m the worst President of his lifetime, which is interesting because I think Dick Cheney is the worst President of my lifetime. Quite a coincidence。”
—“迪克·切尼说他认为我是他这辈子见过的最烂的总统，有趣的是我也认为他是我这辈子见过的最烂的总统，真巧啊。”(吐槽前副总统迪克·切尼)
--(On former secretary of state and current 2016 candidate Hillary Clinton) “I’ve just got to put this stuff aside. I’ve gotta stay focused on my job, because for many Americans this is still a time of deep uncertainty. For example, I have one friend, just a few weeks ago, she was making millions of dollars a year, and she’s now living out of a van in Iowa。”
—“我必须把这些糟心事放在一边，专注于我的工作，因为对于许多美国人来说，这仍是个充满各种不确定的时期。比如我有个朋友，几周前她还年入数百万，如今她却沦落到了爱荷华州，在小货车里过日子了。”(希拉里竞选活动的第一站是爱荷华)
--(On Vice President Biden) “You know I tease Joe sometimes, but he has been at my side for seven years. I love that man. He’s not just a great vice president, he’s a great friend. We’ve gotten so close (that) in some places in Indiana, they won’t serve us pizza anymore。”
—“虽然我有时会吐糟拜登，但七年来他一直陪伴我左右，我爱这哥们。他不仅是位出色的副总统，也是位极好的朋友，我俩在印第安纳的某些地方过于亲密，搞得人家都不卖给我们披萨了。”(印第安纳州的反同人士曾拒绝向同性恋出售披萨)
--(On a new ABC sitcom) “ABC is here with some of the stars from their big new comedy ‘Blackish.’ It’s a great show, but I have to give ABC fair warning: Being blackish only makes you popular for so long. Trust me. There’s a shelf life to that thing。”
—“ABC也来了，还带来了他们的新剧‘有点黑’的演员们。这剧很不错，但我要给ABC一些温馨提示：‘有点黑’只能让你火一阵儿，相信我，这是有保质期的。”(“有点黑”是ABC新剧，暗指黑白混血儿)
在最近举行的2015年度白宫记者协会晚宴上，美国总统奥巴马发表了吐槽演讲。因为言辞幽默犀利，被广大民众冠以“美国段子手”的荣誉称号。（视频见后）
白宫记者会晚宴是美国的一个传统，作为首都华盛顿每年度最重要的社交盛事之一，晚宴的“卖点”之一就是历届美国总统都会在这一场合竭尽所能地“抖包袱”调侃政事。除了奥巴马之外，前总统小布什和克林顿等人都曾在该晚宴上“大放光彩”。
演讲内容涉及近来关于美国内外的时政和针对奥巴马的各方评论，“段子手总统妙”语连珠，火力全开，导致参加晚宴的各路人马（包括美国2016年总统大选的候选人、奥巴马的冤家共和党、有线新闻网、甚至第一夫人米歇尔·奥巴马）的膝盖纷纷中箭，就连以色列总统内塔尼亚胡虽身在千里之外也未能幸免。但尽管被奥巴马当众调侃，当晚参加晚宴的政治家们依然笑得前仰后合。
<hr>下面摘录了一些演讲中的精华：
--(On rumors that he’s a Muslim) “Being President is never easy. I still have to fix the broken immigration system, issue veto threats, negotiate with Iran, all while finding time to pray five times a day。”
--“当总统从来都不是轻松事，我仍要修补破旧的移民[微博]体系，威胁使用谈判权，跟伊朗谈判，每天还得挤出时间做5次祈祷。”(传言奥巴马是穆斯林)
--(On House Speaker John Boehner) “It’s no wonder people keep pointing out how the presidency has aged me. I look so old John Boehner has already invited (Israel Prime Minister Benjamin) Netanyahu to speak at my funeral。”
—“难怪人们说我当总统后越来越老，我看起来太老了，约翰·博纳已经邀请内塔尼亚胡在我的葬礼上发言了。”(吐槽众院议长约翰·博纳)
--(On former Vice President Dick Cheney) “Dick Cheney says he thinks I’m the worst President of his lifetime, which is interesting because I think Dick Cheney is the worst President of my lifetime. Quite a coincidence。”
—“迪克·切尼说他认为我是他这辈子见过的最烂的总统，有趣的是我也认为他是我这辈子见过的最烂的总统，真巧啊。”(吐槽前副总统迪克·切尼)
--(On former secretary of state and current 2016 candidate Hillary Clinton) “I’ve just got to put this stuff aside. I’ve gotta stay focused on my job, because for many Americans this is still a time of deep uncertainty. For example, I have one friend, just a few weeks ago, she was making millions of dollars a year, and she’s now living out of a van in Iowa。”
—“我必须把这些糟心事放在一边，专注于我的工作，因为对于许多美国人来说，这仍是个充满各种不确定的时期。比如我有个朋友，几周前她还年入数百万，如今她却沦落到了爱荷华州，在小货车里过日子了。”(希拉里竞选活动的第一站是爱荷华)
--(On Vice President Biden) “You know I tease Joe sometimes, but he has been at my side for seven years. I love that man. He’s not just a great vice president, he’s a great friend. We’ve gotten so close (that) in some places in Indiana, they won’t serve us pizza anymore。”
—“虽然我有时会吐糟拜登，但七年来他一直陪伴我左右，我爱这哥们。他不仅是位出色的副总统，也是位极好的朋友，我俩在印第安纳的某些地方过于亲密，搞得人家都不卖给我们披萨了。”(印第安纳州的反同人士曾拒绝向同性恋出售披萨)
--(On a new ABC sitcom) “ABC is here with some of the stars from their big new comedy ‘Blackish.’ It’s a great show, but I have to give ABC fair warning: Being blackish only makes you popular for so long. Trust me. There’s a shelf life to that thing。”
—“ABC也来了，还带来了他们的新剧‘有点黑’的演员们。这剧很不错，但我要给ABC一些温馨提示：‘有点黑’只能让你火一阵儿，相信我，这是有保质期的。”(“有点黑”是ABC新剧，暗指黑白混血儿)
